Battle Strategy #3: Choosing your Bad Guy

Posted: January 16, 2011 in Uncategorized

Nothing breeds frustration like a particularly fierce or lengthy fight – especially when the villain is insidious and invisible.  One of the most difficult elements of our particular battle has been the conspicuous absence of  a tangible someone or something to blame for a situation that has changed absolutely everything in our lives.  In lieu of the right target, I’ve sometimes chosen an easy one instead.  These include but are not limited to:

  • Doctors who don’t call back.
  • Insurance companies that don’t pay the bills from the doctors who don’t call back.
  • Bad drivers
  • Starbucks baristas who get my order wrong on a bad day.

And here’s the one that’s most difficult to admit:

  • Steve (The handsome and wonderful love of my life?  Yes – that Steve)

It’s sad but true that on some really dark days, we have caved beneath the pressure and taken our anger out on each other.  Ironic, isn’t it, that someone would turn on the very person they’re most desperate to protect?  Such is the nature of the fight.  It feels good for a moment to turn the steam valve and release a little pressure on an innocent bystander, but it always creates more hurt than it heals.

One of the best things we’re learning out on this battlefield is that it never works to have enemies that aren’t God’s enemies.  Ephesians tells us the battle isn’t with flesh and blood but with a villain we can’t see.  Frustrating!  But also, freeing…because that means that it really is His fight.   I’m finding that when I resist the urge to create my own Bad Guy,  a fresh flood of the grace of God is poured over my life,  and that alone is what enables me to love instead of lash out.

The ways of God are without a doubt otherworldly so they don’t come automatically.  This means that they’re not always easy but they do always work.   For that reason, I really want to learn them well.

Giving Baristas a Break,


  1. Cathy Turk says:

    Dear Bo,
    I completely agree… Our invisable enemy (The Turks) is not in the realm of doctors, but instead banks, and their relatives…. but i am so glad that God is in control… For whatever reason our housing situation seems to drag on. The ups the downs, two forcloseure dates have come and gone and the third one is looming next month… I think i’ve gotten a little cynical about it though…after two plus years of waiting to see what would happen with our house, we’ve really just wanted it to be over… we’ve even moved out, just to move back in six months later. I’ve really appreciated your example in this difficult time… I know its probably not always what it seems, but you are so honest… In my Beth Moore study this week…. i loved what she said about God being in the Clouds… “God’s glory is so inconceivably brilliant to the human eye that He often shrouds His presence in a cloud. One day the clouds will roll back like a scroll and He will stand before us revealed. He has much to disclose to us in the meantime, and we’ll be greatly helped when we accept that clouds are not signs of His absence. Indeed, within them we most often find His presence”. I was studing this on a really foggy, cloudy day, and it made me appreciate that much more that Gods presence is with us… Blessings to you and Steve, We love you…

  2. Heather Hiatt Sutter says:

    Thanks, Bo. That was every bit what i needed to be reminded about. Today.

  3. bolovesjoe says:

    Thank you, Heather.

    Cathy – I also heard that quote by Beth and loved it. Something in it took me out of the “God’s playing games with me” mode and into the “God is so GREAT that if I could see His whole purpose here, it would knock me right over.” I love when teachers take a little pearl like that and make such a big treasure. Love you, Turks – praying you will feel breakthrough and victory very soon!

  4. Nancy Ludeman says:

    So true, so honest, so where I want to be with God and others… Thank you, again…

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