Bridges and how they (don’t) Fall

Posted: October 29, 2010 in Uncategorized

So, still on the bridge. But I’m okay here. Tired, yes, but doing well. My friend, Chris, left a comment on my first post about the bridge (“Betwixt and Between” – I’m too lazy to link it) and it’s brilliant and exactly how I feel about my current location. If I felt like being bossy, I would suggest that you read it, but I’m loathe to be bossy.

You know, life is funny. It is filled with joy because of the blessings that it holds. And it’s also filled with pain and fear because there’s so much to lose. I think sometimes – maybe even more than sometimes – I’ve let fear of losing the blessings keep me from enjoying them fully. This needs to change. Regardless of what’s on the other side of any bridge, I want to enjoy loving more. I’m starting to understand, finally, that the white-knuckled grip I use to protect the things and people I love, actually squeezes some of the happy out of my life (and probably their lives as well, but they’re too nice to mention it). Trusting God with my husband’s health and future has been the biggest challenge of my 45 years, but through it I’m beginning to grasp this one, big truth treasure: my job and my privilege is to love what He’s given and His job and privilege is…everything else. When I try to shoulder the responsibility that only He is built to handle, my joy, freedom and relationships suffer.

Behold: love. I’m still learning, but I’m hoping to get really good at it one day.

  1. Tara Jean says:

    I love you and am praying for you and yours.
    Pastor Barbara at the city church preached a message at the city church on bridges if you are ever in the mood for another bridge sermon.
    She uses the Capillano Suspension bridge as the best example ever:-)

  2. bolovesjoe says:

    Thank you, Tara. Pastor Barbara is a hero of mine – she’s the first one who ever encouraged me to speak or to write. I love her and will search for the message. I didn’t know about that bridge but I googled it and OH MY GOODNESS! It’s a perfect picture of life.

  3. Colleen Dod says:

    I totally relate to your recent blog post, we need to enjoy life every day and every moment and trust God with the rest. It seems so simple, but in reality it is so hard to do!

  4. Heather Hiatt Sutter says:

    That was what i needed to hear myself! your line about being afraid of losing the blessings themselves keeps one from enjoying them fully … and the line about protecting the people we love with a white knuckled grasp …

    that is something i have and continue to deal with …. especially that nasty fear thing, which actually does keep me from enjoying and loving as fully as i could be! ack! it gets me every time, i hate fear. and when i lose out on love because i’m fearing.

    but i’m learning. sigh =) God continues to reveal things to me, including thru your posts. thanks so much!

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