What I Wish I Could I Say

Posted: May 10, 2010 in Uncategorized

I wish I could tell you how hard this day has been.  The problem?  I feel like I’ve already talked too much about the difficulty of this season in our lives.  Let’s face it, there’s just a threshold for how much melancholy the average (wonderful!) blog-reader can handle.   You’ve already heard a lot of detailed honesty from me, so here’s the thing:  the past two weeks?  Plshhhht!  (spitting noises)   But I won’t tell you about that.

And I wish I could tell you how God came through in ways that astound and amaze me…and make cry.  I wish I could explain how smart He is in the face of my despair.  I wish I could even tell You how He eliminates me as a possibility for the solution to the problem so that HE ALONE can be what HE ALONE is meant to be.

I wish I could tell you.

But I can’t.  And it wouldn’t be the same if I did because it’s my family’s story and therefore would be cool-but-not-supernaturally-hope-soaked for you like it would be if it was YOUR family’s story, you know?


Since I can’t share the story of hopeless days and hard jobs and injured baby birds and how hard it is to grow up and rental contracts and too little money, here’s what I WILL do.  I WILL pray that God will reveal Himself and His muscle-y love in exactly the way that YOU need to see it today.

I am praying that for YOU, my friend.

Because He loves you that much.

And because I know He can.

And because, as my up-against-the-wall-almost-out-of-college daughter told me today: “It’s okay, mom – the God of Joshua is also the God of me.”  And the God of you.

May you find today that you do truly serve the God who makes the sun – and the storm – stand still.

So much love,


P.S.  God really DID come through….I hope I made that clear.  He turned a rough day into a victory and amazes me every time with His goodness and grace over my life.  But I felt I couldn’t share the details of the struggle leading to that good victory.  I love you all for caring about me…you’re dear treasures in my life.

  1. Dorilyn says:

    Beautifully written Bo! Thanks for the reminder!

  2. Nita says:

    Hey dear friend. I have NO idea what you’re going through…but I’ll tell you one thing, you are one wonderful, tough, kick-butt kind of Christian woman! (Is it okay to say butt on your blog?? 😉 )

    And I’ll tell ya something about that God you serve…just around the corner…God’s up to something wonderful that may not have ever occurred to you. I have that on good authority!

    And … and … if you need me to help you kick someone’s butt…well you just holler and I’ll try not to overly-enjoy whomping on someone who needs it.

    So much love for someone who gives sooo much love!

  3. Bo, i do love you so much, and I’m praying for you! You bless me in so many ways, thank you 🙂

  4. bolovesjoe says:

    Yes, Nita, I checked with the International Bloggedy Federation and “butt” is on the approved usage list…along with “hiney” “backside” and the recent addition – “Lawrence Taylor’s Attorney.” Heh.

    Thanks for the encouragement – He really did do such miraculous things today and I’m just grateful beyond words. Wellll….ALMOST beyond words.

  5. Jamie Schulz says:

    I love this post! It describes so perfectly how I feel about the hard things in life. On one hand, I cringe at the thought of walking through hard times and on the other… some of my most beautiful times with God have emerged out of those times. It’s a love/hate relationship.

    Thanks for writing this! I am praying for more breakthrough moments for you, your family and everyone you minister to!

  6. Nita says:

    Whew! Bo, I was soo afraid I was going to get in trouble for cussing on here! 😉

    You’re so funny, I think lta should be designated as a new cuss word, and pimp and john should also be on that list MAYBE even higher on the list because if it weren’t for them there would be no need for lta. (Note the appropriate lack of respect noted by lower case.)

    I know I’m not telling you anything new when I say God is ALWAYS faithful. HUGE blessings on you today my friend.

    Cyber hugs and love coming your way!


  7. Gail says:

    I hear your heart today as I read your blog.. and I am thankful that we serve a God who will get us through anything our families are going through … sometimes I just want to fix it.. that is the mom in all of us.. but I know we have to give it all to Him and as you said .. He will brings us through as He sees fit..
    Blessings and Love to you today..

  8. S. Jill Wolfe says:

    My Dear Bo that I deeply love and admire,
    I don’t take time to read many people’s blogs, but yours caught my eye today.
    As each of our stories continue to unfold in this sea of time and history, these seasons of triumph, tragedy and trials seems to have been woven into the lives of those individuals and families that have been grafted into the blood line of Jesus. It all sounds so good initially to be saved and showered with grace so free. And it is!!! The initial passion is so strong that we find ourselves confessing our permission to have His way with us. Anything is takes to make us be more like Him. We read His word and profess boldly “Let your kingdom come” & “Let Your will be done” After all, He is trustworthy! His Word and His ways are what we can depend upon.
    We just don’t ever have the ability to foresee what it might take or what it might look like to get this thing accomplished.
    My solace these past years, has been this beautiful Jesus, full of grace and strength, crying out to God to take this cup from him if there be any other way. There wasn’t……it wasn’t. Despising the shame, as He endured the humiliation of the betrayal, the unjust and cruel suffering of the cross, the appearance of being forsaken, the lonely end of crying out, only to be ushered into the grave. The exact place where God would accomplish the greatest triumph ever to be won; the one unlikely place that would accomplish eternity for all who would come after Him, as well as secure the highest place for the Beloved Himself who obeyed the Father beyond His understanding. Ooh, how I love Jesus! Do I love this part of the fellowship? NO!!!! Can I endure it? Only because He did.
    Not liking this part of the deal one bit, but somehow know that our Father is doing something so radical and lasting that no matter how much I cry, He won’t let me out till it’s done.
    I’m right here with you Bo, in the hardest place! Hummm, I wonder what He’s up to?
    It’s gotta be better than we can imagine…

  9. Shandra says:

    ♥♥♥… and in the midst of this day you found time, Grace and desire to encourage so many others…♥♥♥

  10. Karen says:

    Thank you Bo, for transparency, authenticity and a model of what it means to be a woman of God, for God, in God.

    The responses from your friends are as wonderful as your willingness to share your heart with your readers.

    I think it’s hard being in the struggle and left out of seeing the victory, but I am grateful for peace in that place too – full faith that His will and plan will unfold and I don’t even have to understand the “why” of this world.

    Thank you God for spring days and sunshine and birds chirping to make this place beautiful regardless of what our circumstances are.

    Every step of obedience I take seems to take me more into communion through the Holy Spirit which is fearful and frightening and so big I can’t comprehend it….and so, to today I say….here we go again, buckle up!

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