March 23: Seeing

Posted: March 23, 2010 in Uncategorized

Today I saw all my children.

I know, I only have 4 kids and a kid-in-law, and two of the kids still live at home so I’m with them all the time.  But it bears repeating:

Today I saw all my children.

There were moments today when, for whatever reason, I just saw them – in another dimension.  It was weird and lovely and beautiful and terrifying.

Josiah stood by me in line at Barnes and Noble and then helped carry the drinks for he and his sisters to our table.  He grabbed napkins and cleared stuff and just generally acted really grown up and mature and man-like.  For a second, while everyone was reading  at our little spot by the fireplace, I looked sideways at my boy and saw the man.  The man he will become.  The girl he will love.  The children who will be the recipients of his cherished and growing book collection.  It was like some sort of here-and-now glasses I was wearing came off and I could see the guy he will become and it wasn’t fuzzy or hazy even a little.  It was vivid and clear and stunning.  But just for a flash of a moment, and then the man was gone and the 10-year-old in the Old Navy t-shirt was back.

Later, I went to visit my oldest daughter, Whitney, at the beauty school where she is studying.  She had booked me for a facial and I honestly have never had one and therefore had no idea how much I would love it.  LOVED it!  But there was this moment, when I saw her, dressed in the black beauty apron and doing what she really loves to do and there she was:  little Whitney.  Little blond, always-moving, always-talking Whitney (her first word was “yes!”).  I saw and remembered and tried so hard to enjoy that moment without worrying about when it would disappear.  It did.  Like a bubble popping in the sunlight, my first Little was all grown up again.  Grown up and married and still one of my favorite people ever; she is still so full of possibility and life and hope.

I had similar moments with the rest of my kids and I’ve been wondering why.  Why today?  The only answer I can come up with  is that I had the time to let them in.  The moments and the kids.  I’ve taken a few days off this week and have had more conversations and more time to think and more room to dream and remember…to reach ahead and reach back to enjoy what has been and what’s to come.  And I tried to take a mental snap shot of each one of those moments for the days when the seeing is hard to come by.

Today, I saw all my children.

  1. sharon says:

    Beautiful Bo. Ali texted me to tell me to read this as it reminded her so much of something I would say. Just loved it.

  2. Sarah says:

    Whitney’s in BEAUTY SCHOOL? That’s so cool! She needs to come help me out when she’s done! I could trade her for nursing advice when she has babies. Or something. =)
    Great post. I sometimes see glimpses of my children as adults (which takes a lot more imagination on my part and I could be way WAY off) and it makes me so excited. Can’t wait to see how they turn out!

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