Three small things happened yesterday that ended up creating one BIG, FATTY thing:
Important Thing #1) I did a lot of reading about varying philosophies surrounding the question: how “knowable” is God? Many voices in Christendom today are proposing that God is so large and mysterious and we are so small and finite, that – while we can know Him personally – we can’t hope to ever, with certainty, know about Him. We’ve been too neat and tidy, they say, with our propositions and absolutes and – really – none of us can ever claim to know anything at all. Since I personally feel hopelessly finite every single day, this argument is pretty compelling. Who do I think I am, anyway, assuming that I might know with certainty that He is one thing and not another? That He loves some things and not others? It makes sense that His largeness – His “unsearchableness” – would never stoop for questions from someone as small as I. So, I was nursing a lot of questions and turning over a lot of scripture at the exact moment number 2 happened…
Important Thing #2) My lovely, sweet, wonderful, un-dramatic daughter, Tess, got violently, wretchedly, woefully sick. I’ve never seen her like that. She threw up at 5-minute intervals for about three hours, while I sat on the couch and wished and hoped and prayed that I could do something to make that girl better. She is my girl who rarely cries and it’s really, really hard to see her sick – it wraps my mom-heart into knots like nothing else. Sometime after midnight (which – by the way – is exactly one million hours past my bedtime), Steve came down to take my place on the couch with Tess so I could get some sleep. And that’s where number 3 comes in…
Thing #3) As I was still simmering in the soup of these “can I really know Him?” questions, I fell asleep. I woke up with a start, worried for Tess and then I remembered, Oh, it’s okay. Her daddy’s with her. He will take excellent care of her. Just then a scripture shot right through my little sleep-deprived brain, “If you – being evil – take good care of your children, how much more will your Father in heaven take care of you?” And then –light bulb moment : I know that about God. I own it. He will – truly – take good care of me. He watches over me when I’m sick and sad and scared. He walks me through both hard and happy times. He is a great and wonderful Father – both the Word and my experience confirm it.
This is my truth.
I am not too small to know it and I am not too weak to build on it.
It can’t be shaken or questioned or intellectualized out of my possession because it’s real and true and I know it. And if I can truly know this about God – I wonder what else might be within my grasp?
Behold: God is mysteriously unsearchable, but amazingly knowable. Infinite, yet accessible. That’s worth building my life on. I bet you really know something, too. Want to share?