Archive for January, 2010

January 31: Knowing

Posted: January 31, 2010 in Uncategorized

Three small things happened yesterday that ended up creating one BIG, FATTY thing:

Important Thing #1) I did a lot of reading about varying philosophies surrounding the question:  how “knowable” is God?  Many voices in Christendom today are proposing that God is so large and mysterious and we are so small and finite, that – while we can know Him personally – we can’t hope to ever, with certainty, know about Him.   We’ve been too neat and tidy, they say, with our propositions and absolutes and – really – none of us can ever claim to know anything at all.  Since I personally feel hopelessly finite every single day, this argument is pretty compelling.    Who do I think I am, anyway, assuming that I might know with certainty that He is one thing and not another?   That He loves some things and not others?  It makes sense that His largeness – His “unsearchableness” –  would never stoop for questions from someone as small as I.  So, I was nursing a lot of questions and turning over a lot of scripture at the exact moment number 2 happened…

Important Thing #2)  My lovely, sweet, wonderful, un-dramatic daughter, Tess, got violently, wretchedly, woefully sick.  I’ve never seen her like that.  She threw up at 5-minute intervals for about three hours, while I sat on the couch and wished and hoped and prayed that I could do something to make that girl better.  She is my girl who rarely cries and it’s really, really hard to see her sick – it wraps my mom-heart into knots like nothing else.  Sometime after midnight (which – by the way – is exactly one million hours past my bedtime), Steve came down to take my place on the couch with Tess so I could get some sleep.  And that’s where number 3 comes in…

Thing #3) As I was still simmering in the soup of these “can I really know Him?” questions, I fell asleep.  I woke up with a start, worried for Tess and then I remembered, Oh, it’s okay.  Her daddy’s with her.  He will take excellent care of her. Just then a scripture shot right through my little sleep-deprived brain, “If you – being evil – take good care of your children, how much more will your Father in heaven take care of you?”  And then light bulb moment :  I know that about God.  I own it.  He will – truly – take good care of me.  He watches over me when I’m sick and sad and scared.  He walks me through both hard and happy times.  He is a great and wonderful Father – both the Word and my experience confirm it.

This is my truth.

I am not too small to know it and I am not too weak to build on it.

It can’t be shaken or questioned or intellectualized out of my possession because it’s real and true and I know it.  And if I can truly know this about God – I wonder what else might be within my grasp?

Behold: God is mysteriously unsearchable, but amazingly knowable.  Infinite, yet accessible.  That’s worth building my life on. I bet you really know something, too.  Want to share?

So, I survived my DODT .  2 hours and 29 minutes of drilling, poking, pulling, pushing, sanding, filling and “are you okay’ing?”   Such nice people they are to put up with my fear of dentistry – seriously,  they never made me feel one bit bad or silly and that’s worth a lot to me.

When I was done they offered to phone in a prescription for pain meds, but I declined.  I pretended to be really strong and brave but in reality, I knew I already had the perfect medication at home.

BeholdBen & Jerry’s Peach Cobbler Ice Cream, which seems to also involve Willie Nelson somehow.  I have a feeling that my no-solid-food diet is not going to lead to much weight loss.  But I did lose a tooth which contained a hefty amount of wisdom, so maybe it will all balance out.

Also:    Thank you, Dr. Brad Hester, his awesome assistant Susie, and the Bend Family Dentistry team for working with a big baby like me and providing a truly better-than-expected DODT.  You guys are the BEST!

If you live in Central Oregon and need a good dentist that doesn’t make you feel dumb for not liking to go to the dentist, you need to check ’em out.

January 29: Dance!

Posted: January 29, 2010 in Uncategorized

First?  BEMOAN!  Today is my DODT (Day of Dental Trauma) in which I will have one wisdom tooth extracted (such an awful word), 1 cavity filled and 1 tooth crowned.  Sigh.  I’m a big ol’ baby when it comes to spending time with the dentist so consider yourself thoroughly and completely bemoaned at.  In other, happier, beholdy-er news:

To paraphrase a beautiful scripture:

“Greater love has no  woman then to lay down her dignity and dance for a cause she believes in.”  2nd Borinthians 2:17

This video – made by the staff of St. Vincent’s in Portland – makes me all kinds of happy:

Behold:  People  committed to the aggressive search for a cure to end an aggressive and wretched disease.   When we push back the forces of sickness, we push back the plans of the evil one.  And that idea makes me wanna dance.

(Thanks, Cathy Turk, for sharing this video!)

I am loving this book right now:

Though I have at least 12 other books waiting for attention, this excerpt made me buy this one and move it to the front of the pack:

I am my Beloved’s, and His desire is for me.-Song of Solomon 7:10

When you take those words personally, I mean very personally, a number of beautiful things come to pass:

  • The drumbeats of doom in your head will be replaced by a song in your heart, which could lead to a twinkle in your eye.
  • You will not be dependent on the company of others to ease your loneliness, for He is Emmanuel – God with us.
  • The praise of others will not send your spirit soaring, nor will their criticism plunge you into the pit.  Their rejection may make you sick, but it will not be sickness unto death.
  • In a significant interior development, you will move from I should pray to I must pray.
  • You will live with an awareness that the Father not only loves you, but likes you.
  • Off and on throughout the day, you will just know that you are being seen by Jesus with a gaze of infinite tenderness.

I am a witness to these truths.

Behold:  The Furious Longing of God, by Brennan Manning.  It doesn’t take long to read, but I think it might take a lifetime to truly get.

January 27: Bigger than me

Posted: January 27, 2010 in Uncategorized

“Because of the oppression of the afflicted and the groaning of the poor, I will now rise up,” says the Lord. “I will put in a safe place the one who longs for it.” Psalm 12:5 (HCSB)

In days like these, with a skyrocketing orphan population and natural disasters creating more misery then anyone knows what to do with, I’m so thankful for Psalm 12:5.  It’s just one small verse, but it gives huge assurances.  Most of all, it assures me that – though staying alert and involved is really important – the results aren’t up to me.  He is the One who rises up.  He is the One who knows the safe places and who needs them the most.

Behold:  He is.  And I am not.

It’s a huge relief to my heart today, and motivation to do whatever I can to serve His plan here on my planet.

January 26: I love Steve edition

Posted: January 26, 2010 in Uncategorized

5 o’clock

tick tock

no reservations

best table

favorite

person

many years

and

dinners

like this one

and still

my heart stops

my soul sings

because

I am

in

love.

Behold: a date with Steve.

I am so abundantly blessed.

January 25: Throwback Style

Posted: January 25, 2010 in Uncategorized

Do you remember in December when we were talking about the marvel of the dresses worn by Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen and not-Mitzi Gaynor back in the day of quality Christmas movies?  And we were bemoaning the fact that we can’t wear those dresses today?  Well, I’ve been thinking:  why the heck not?

Now, I’ll concede that you have to be confident:

and it would probably help if you were also

quite intimately in touch

with your

feminine side.

I know the era is over

But please, oh, please

Couldn’t we agree

To launch a new one?

Because I, for one, am ready for a new old dress.

Behold:  vintage dresses from ModCloth.  They make me want to move to 1942.

Also, a question and it applies to male and female readers alike:  How do you feel about women in dresses?  Is it too fancy?  Too silly?  Too wonderful for words?  If you are a woman, do you wear them and if you don’t, what would make you want to?  Wow.  That’s a lot of questions, but that’s okay because I believe in you.  What say ye?