Posted: November 28, 2009 in Uncategorized

Sometimes I’m tentative in loving.  Often, actually.  Especially if someone has hurt me or made mistakes in the past, I tend to love with one foot wedged firmly in the door just in case I have to get out fast.  I love through a filter of caution and self-protection and it makes my love weak and anemic.  I don’t want to love like that.   I want – desperately – to return to a tribal kind of love.  The kind of passion that makes me ready to defend my team just because they’re my team.  And they may be wrong and they may fail, but unconditional love understands that people aren’t flawless and mistakes aren’t fatal.

True love sticks hard.  It sticks in the rough-and-tumble days of disappointment and it sticks when the crowds cheer and confetti falls.  True love checks its exit strategy at the door.  True love is true love not in spite of the hard times, but because of them.

I really want to love like that.

  1. Jenn Hoff says:

    Oh you are a dear heart. I love this.
    I want to go back to that too, and some days I pull it off.
    But there is some finesse or fancy footwork required to to “sticking hard” in a world that doesn’t know about this kind of love and does not value it, and sometimes it confounds me and I think it might not be possible.

    And also, there’s this, which gives me pause, especially since I’ve learned the truth of it the hard way.
    “A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Prov. 12:26

    As well as the oft quoted:
    “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.” Prov. 4:23

    And especially this one…which really throws me:
    “But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men” John 2:24.

    Yes, the very one I’m trying to be like, trying to love like, would not entrust himself to men because he knew what was really in them. That’s wise. And yet, when I do that, my love is, as you say, pathetic and anemic. So somehow I have to figure out how to have this robust, sticking, permanent kind of love for folks who have no need or intention of lovingly sticking back, but not actually entrust my heart to them so as to protect it and be wise. I’m stumped, really. I think someday I’ll figure out how that’s done, but I’ll admit, right now it’s rocket science to me…and I never took that class.

  2. bolovesjoe says:

    Oh, I love your comment, Jenn. I love it and I totally get it. For me, this “tribal” kind of love is specifically for those who I know God has placed in my tribe. Husband, children, and a few others…the people for whom I am – at least on some level – a defender of their destiny. Their lives will change irrevocably if I am cautious or withholding in my love for them. There are only a handful, but they are worth sticking to and it isn’t always easy.

    But, outside of that circle, it for sure gets a lot trickier. I read the other day when Paul said that he loved the church in Thessalonica “like a nursing mother loves and longs for her child.” I read it and said, “Oh man, I’ve got a long way to go.”

    So, I guess I”m not much help the quandary, but I’ve decided to start with my tribe…the team God has given me…and move out from there. 🙂

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