People Watching

Posted: March 30, 2009 in Uncategorized

Things I noticed on my visit to Barnes and Noble:

  • The doors have been open just a few minutes,  and yet I’ve seen three different people show up to meet other people.  And by “meet”, I mean “meet”…for the first time ever.  Handshakes, awkward greetings, some carrying leather portfolios and one is even wearing a fancy name tag.  Barnes and Noble with it’s fake fireplace and “legal addictive stimulants” (name that awesome movie) is just about the perfect place for an encounter that will require a name tag.  I’m going to take a minute to thank the Lord that I am meeting the wonderful Tracy, my filled-with-Jesus friend who does not need a name tag or a portfolio and will not try to sell me anything but more reasons to love Him.
  • One table contains a group of pastors.  They seem very nice, but I have to say that pastors carry a lot of stuff with them.  One is even pulling a rolling bag behind him and I imagine it contains Matthew Henry’s full 17-volume set of commentaries and the latest book by Rob Bell.  (Disclosure:  I am also a pastor and a quick glance at my gigantic purse, brief case and notebook reveals that this is a pot/kettle situation and I should probably stop talking now.)
  • You’re going to think I’m making this up, but I’m not.  I’m not this creative.  I just watched a man out the window walk back and forth for a long time without coming in.  After about 20 minutes, another guy from inside the store went outside and gave the man some money, and the guy gave him his watch!  I kid you not – he took it right off his wrist and gave it to him!  I would have thought something nefarious was going on, but seriously, these guys were like…old.  Old, yet mysterious.  A dangerous combination.
  • Meanwhile, at the name tag lady’s table (who, by the way, also has very expensive highlights), the man she is talking to has totally put his head down on the table.  Like whatever she was saying was just sooooo much that he needs a tiny little catnap to process it all.   I think I’ve been on both sides of that fence more times than I care to count.
  • Of all the things in life that I abhor – and there aren’t a million of them – these are without a doubt the top two:  loud chewing and snorting.  You know the snorting where you suck in your sinuses to clear them or clear your throat or maybe i don’t know all that’s going on physiologically, but I know I hate it and I know I picked the wrong table.
  • Hey, I found my twin!  She’s sitting by the fireplace – where I would sit if I had remembered to charge my lap top and didn’t need close proximity to an outlet – and she’s drinking a venti coffee (perfect!) and reading travel guides (excellent!)  And she has a yellow purse.  I tell you, we were probably separated at birth.  Except she’s Asian.  And 60ish.  Still, she’s a good person.  I can just tell.
  • Oh, cute red coat!  I want a red coat.  My friend, Elisa, has a super cute red coat and she also has no sympathy for my red coatlessness.  I hope there’s something in the stimulus package for people like me.
  • And there’s a table of beautiful people…four beautiful people  who I happen to know have beautiful feet (Isaiah 52:7)   Hi Chris!
  • And at one table in the corner sits a woman with a lap top who clearly thinks using a bobby pin constitutes “doing your hair” and knows she should be working, but is instead totally frittering away the moments before Tracy her appointment arrives on her confounded blog.  Poor, sad girl.  I’m glad I’m not like her.

Spring is coming and people are wonderful,

Bo

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Comments
  1. Jen Hoffmann says:

    You are so hilarious…Red-Coatlessness and all. You made me smile this morn 🙂
    (I’m Orange Wool Coatless…I feel your pain!)

  2. I giggled. I did.
    And you made me a little bit glad that I always turn down Luke’s request to “go to Barnes & Noble and read books” because I would indeed get no reading done… only people watching…

  3. Cassie says:

    oh gracious, i think every blog needs a post similar to this one… i have one… Backporch on a friday morning and Barnes on a Saturday are toss up for the Best people watching spots!!!!!

    bo stern. You are wonderful. thank you.

  4. Katie says:

    You’ve Got Mail! That’s the movie. 🙂

  5. Jess Stern says:

    Hysterical!

  6. Tracy says:

    I loved your hair and went right out and bought a Bobbie pin! Thanks for the chat!

  7. Great stuff, Bo!! i was people-watching at the food court in the mall in Omaha the other day and would have sat there ’til closing except that i had a little boy and girl — and husband — for whom i needed to hunt down the finishing touches for Officially Cute Easter Outfits. That, and my Newborn-Needed-Milk-An-Hour-Ago clock was ticking. Hug your fam for us!!

  8. Jenna says:

    Do you hear that sound? Oh, it’s just me enjoying a prolonged laugh here in Africa. Thanks for taking me home tonight- straight to Barnes and Noble and for making me laugh. My world is very small, I needed a window to my roots. I think this may have inspired a blog of African people watching. I am going to town tomorrow, I will take notes I assure you.

  9. So, you are a yellow purse person – mine is bright green – and bigger than any I have ever had before. So big I can’t remember what I have in it. So if I can’t find something I got to my big green purse first!!! Airports are even better than Barnes and Nobles for watching people!! By the way, thanks for sending me on my way to the Philippines, on April 15th. I am very blessed!!!

  10. So, you are a yellow purse person – mine is bright green – and bigger than any I have ever had before. So big I can’t remember what I have in it. So if I can’t find something I go to my big green purse first!!! Airports are even better than Barnes and Nobles for watching people!! By the way, thanks for sending me on my way to the Philippines, on April 15th. I am very blessed!!!

  11. Elisa says:

    I may not be the Elisa to whom you refer, but I DO have a red coat…it’s a cutesy Carhardt-type fully lined with fleece and farm-ready — the fact that I did NOT need another coat (red or otherwise) but it was on the clearance rack at Farm King (and they were going fast) and cuter than a lady bug on Leigh-leigh’s button nose (you have no idea — but trust me on this!) all combined into one irresistible purchasing opportunity. Now it hangs behind the back door in pristine grandeur and, evidently, eternal newness since its never been worn. Okay, maybe once, but it’s a FARM coat & I simply refuse to wear it for anything farm-ISH ’cause it might get, like, chick poop on it and I do NOT want it soiled. I’d give it to you in a heartbeat, but somehow I have a feeling it’s not THE red coat to which you refer….

    Love to you, dear.

    Elisa (of the red farm coat)

  12. […] of these) and headed off to Barnes and Noble.  While there, I decided it was time for Part Deux of People Watching.  Here’s some of what I […]

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