25 Random Things to Know about Love

Posted: February 4, 2009 in Uncategorized

Well, goodness…that was a fun little break from reality!  Steve and I had a fantastic time away from Bend and – as usual – were totally excited to get back again.  Thanks for your wonderful wishes and I would like to say that I am just blessed beyond belief to be married to Steve.  He’s a great one, I tell you!

Okay – but that’s not what I’m here for today.  Today, I was thinking about all the recent lists I’ve gotten on facebook.  You know, the 25 Random Things About Me lists?  I get LOTS of them every day and here’s my confession:  I read every one.  I just love to know things about people and in every list, I find something of myself.  I read and say, “Oy.  I totally GET that thing about the lima beans.”  And it makes the world feel just a little more harmonic.  So, I was thinking today:  I think I have – in 1,943,093 blog posts –  revealed quite enough about myself.  Still, I love lists…so what kind of list could I make that would be helpful, entertaining and would add to the big group hug feel of the 25 Things movement.  Well, with Valentine’s Day approaching like a freight train in a wind tunnel and my anniversary just recently in the rear view mirror, I feel like the most wonderful thing I could do for humanity is to write the 25 Random Things to Know About Me Love list.

Actually, I’ll guarantee 20…then I’ll probably leave the last five or so up to the rest of you experts.

  1. Hormones are powerful.  Very, very powerful.  This makes them good for our survival as a race, but not that great for cognitive reasoning.
  2. Because of #1, every guy who thinks he’s found the perfect girl, really ought to get a second opinion.
  3. Girls are just as subject to the power of hormones as are men and should not – under any circumstances – make radical changes in hair color or style while under their influence.
  4. If a guy OR gal has to acquire NEW friends in order to get someone – anyone – to sign off on the idea of dating Mr/Ms. Right, then trouble’s brewing.
  5. I’m a big believer  in being friends first, but I think there MUST – for goodness sake – come a moment when the boy has to belly up to the bar and make an actual date happen.  Fancy food, flowers, manners – all these things should be involved.  I don’t like it when friends just sort of roll into a dating relationship without any sort of pursuit.  Men need to chase, women need to know that they were worth the chase…it’s the stuff of life and the stories you tell your kids down the road.
  6. Soccer skills, awesome spaghetti sauce, witty repartee, excellent spelling aptitude: these are all wonderful things to admire in a young lady, yes.  But when the day is done, a girl wants to know that a man thinks she’s beautiful.  And she will know if she is told.
  7. No amount of telling a woman she’s beautiful will compensate for flirting with the waitress during dinner (or – as is the horror story of a friend of mine – openly drooling over the maid of honor at their own wedding.  That marriage didn’t last long.)
  8. Relationships fall into two categories:  A.  Right right now and B.  Wrong right now.   There aren’t many good, healthy in-between’s.
  9. In my experience, people who suspect they’re in category B do not say their relationship is “wrong” or “a bad idea” or “lousy timing”.  They say it’s “complicated.”
  10. I have learned to hate that word “complicated”.  Because it usually means someone is about to get tricked.
  11. Some of the best marriages I know are the ones where the husband and/or wife was not initially attracted to their future spouse, but was willing to work through some “appearance expectations”  because he/she found the other person so compelling in so many other, deeper, more lasting ways.  Beautiful.
  12. I have been young and now I am old (heh), and I have never yet seen a guy/girl pull off the platonic “best friends” relationship without one of them secretly wishing for something more.
  13. Guys – in general – do not like girls to tell them how to drive or roll their eyes at their jokes.
  14. Girls – in general – do not like to be compared unfavorably to his mom, ex girlfriends, Jessica Simpson…anyone, really.  It’s almost never motivating.
  15. A guy without accountability is like a car without break fluid.
  16. A girl without accountability is – wow…where’d all her friends go?  Be wary of a girl with no girlfriends.
  17. Beware these men:  one with a quick temper, one recently out of a relationship, one who forgets to call you back.
  18. RUN from these men:  one who is violent, one who is enslaved to anything but Jesus and one who cannot stay away from other women.  Run, I say, RUN!
  19. Most dating relationships would be improved by each party working to improve his/her own relationship with Jesus by about 15 degrees.  How much is fifteen degrees?   You’ll know when your relationship improves.
  20. I would love for every single woman to learn to cook one great meal, learn to serve a cause greater than herself,  and become the proud owner of a healthy self-esteem.  The world needs more women like that.
  21. I would love for every single man to become a protector of  the women around him – even if it meant he had to endure some awkward conversations.  The world needs more men like that.

Okay…I’m counting on you to finish my list!

Loving love and anniversary trips and Steve,


  1. cassie says:

    brilliant!!! i love it!

    #5 is my favorite.
    #22. On a first date the guy should refrain from asking about her dad and when he can meet him. Believe me if the girl is at all interested she doesn’t need your(the guys) help over analyzing and if she is not all that interested you successfully made her less so.

    #23. On a first date the girl should not talk about her past relationships, weddings, how many kids she wants to have or what ring size she is.

  2. ci says:

    Finding the purposes of God in your life and relationships will far surpass any earthly fantasy you could have ever imagined…including that 50K wedding.

  3. sarah says:

    That was great. I hope the book comes out before Belle’s of age to begin looking for her husband!

  4. sarah says:

    Excuse me, the boys could benefit from the book, too!

  5. nicely put, and as always, filled with incomprehensible wisdom.
    I do, however, inform Luke that he is “taking the slow route” nearly every other time we drive somewhere… I’m not sure if that counts as criticizing his driving??? :-/

    I have 1 to add – but the problem with it is that you don’t KNOW if the guy is a good one until it’s too late.. having said that.. I will add…
    – When you inform him that you’ll be sharing your lives and love with a new baby he should cry, (or show his excitement in his own way,) but you should KNOW without a doubt that he is overjoyed.
    and if he HAPPENS to tell you through those tears that he never thought it was possible to think that you could be more beautiful, and he was wrong – then he is definitely a keeper.

  6. Joseph Garibay says:

    So I know I just jumped out of the boat into the “Women Infested Waters”, but wow Cassie, really!? The girl should be thankful that the guy even WANTS to meet the Dad, and if the girl isn’t even interested, she has no business going out with him to begin with!

    Now please excuse me while I swim for my life…

  7. bolovesjoe says:

    Hmmm…actually, Cassie & Joe, I don’t think you’re as far apart philosophically as it would appear. I think the primary difference is in what level of relationship a “first date” occurs. In some circles, it’s the official launch of a serious relationship and in others, it’s a get-to-know-you kind of thing. I think a girl feels kind of “squished” emotionally if the guy is already talking “meet-the-parents” before she’s certain that she wants a relationship. And I think a guy who is willing to take a relationship seriously enough to talk with the dad is very cool…and yep, that one almost made the original list along with “fancy food, flowers and manners”.

    That’s my .02…but it’s a very interesting topic and – much like an ogre and an onion – it has layers.

    Cheryl: LOVE, LOVE that one! I totally regret the 50K I spent on my wedding. Hee. Funny just typing that absurdness.

    Kristin: that’s a good, good guy you married. I

    Sarah: I’m not comfortable with the idea of Belle dating. Not on any level. 😦

  8. Cassie says:

    Bo, thanks for helping me clarify! Defiantly 2 types of first dates!!! The one i was on in the spoke of situation was in my mind a “get to know each other” date, but the guys was diving in faster than i could swim!

    joe, i can’t wait for the guy i do want to be in a relationship with to meet(talk to) my dad, i would actually like to be inviable and sit back and watch!!! I have actually had a guy talk to my dad before even hinting to me he was interested and that still makes me smile and feel oh so special!!!!! WAY TO BE BRAVE and jump into a “girl talk” blog moment!

  9. Katie Scott says:

    If you’re constantly having to defend your significant other to the people that love you, it’s time to cut them loose.


    All people should just realize that they know nothing about love. Nothing. With that realization there is nowhere to go but up. 🙂

  10. Joseph Garibay says:

    Hmm, okay, I guess there are two types of first dates. I just don’t understand the whole concept of “let’s just do it for fun/get to know each other”…

  11. Ooohhh, this blog is single-handedly making it a very fun Saturday morning!

    I would like to add an addendum to #14 (though it’s pretty personal to me, and I hope it doesn’t offend anyone!): It’s a good idea for guys to compare girls to their heros (for fashion, Audrey Hepburn or Victoria Beckham – for politics, Condoleeza Rice – for success, Barbara Walters – for acting skills and beauty, Kiera Knightly – for athleticism, Misty Mae-Traynor or Janna Meyen/Whetherby – for romance, Emily Dickens – for hair, Kate Hudson – for humor but NOTHING else, Ellen Degeneres…)

    And I would say with that, the list is pretty complete. 🙂


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