Food Poisoning: the Pros and Cons

Posted: November 14, 2008 in Uncategorized

Pro: You get a chance to review everything you ate over the past 24 hours which is a healthy exercise.
Con:  This little trip down memory lane will cause you to vow to the heavens that you will never, under any circumstances, eat any food again.  Ever.

Pro: Long, uninterrupted time for prayer.
Con:  The prayer will mostly consist of: “Sweet Jesus, take me home!”

Pro: Rapid weight loss.
Con: Rapid = temporary.  Temporary = tomorrow when you’re able to hold down two saltines you will immediately add 5 pounds, resulting in a net gain of +2.

Pro: Your family will treat you with extra love and compassion.
Con:  They will still snicker at the condition of your appearance.

Pro: You can watch five episodes of Season 6 of West Wing.
Con: You will emerge from the Theraflu coma to find that you actually slept through most of it and now re-watching it is like eating leftovers.  And the current prevailing attitude on leftovers?  Please see Con #1.

So, pluses and minuses abound, but here’s the bottom line:  EW.  Avoid eating food that might stage a hostile takeover of your body, your schedule and your very will to live.  Food poisoning is for squares.

Alive and nearly kicking,

Bo

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Comments
  1. Whitney says:

    Wow! The only good word for all of those pros and cons is “!&^?*$!!!!”

    While I’m sorry that you had to go through all of that, I think you’ve gained more cleverness on the other side of it all. Any true Stern girl would say it’s totally worth it, right??!!

    Can’t wait to see what you have to say when you’re actually kicking,
    Whit 🙂

  2. Karen says:

    Oh dear, poor Bo. Sounds just nasty. Almost as nasty as watching my husband and daughter eat flan last night. ick.

    Prayers for recovery!

  3. bolovesjoe says:

    Oh – I don’t think I’m quite ready to think about flan just yet. It just seems like a very suspicious and sneaky food. 😦 Thanks for the prayers!

  4. Anne says:

    UGH! Awful indeed! I hope it wasn’t food poisoning from one of my favorite restaurants… (and I’m glad you’re feeling much better!)

    And can you enlighten me as to how I discern which food is evil? Is that one of the spiritual gifts? And if so, how do I get it?

  5. Ann Dunagan says:

    😦

    Hope you’re all better soon.

  6. Katie says:

    I vow to the Heavens that I will never eat food again. EVER. One thing I think God left out when He spoke to Peter was, “Kill, eat, AND check for salmonella.”

  7. bolovesjoe says:

    Katie –

    I have been looking into this whole tomato situation and it’s really interesting. The consensus is: they’re sneaky little boogers and could rise up and smite us at any given moment regardless of our diligent attempts to stop them. Sigh. Seriously, I bet I ate 4 bites of tomato and it took me out for about that many days. Glad to have you back in the land of the living!

  8. Tami says:

    Bo,
    I too was felled by the evils of food born illnesses not too long ago. I have to agree that during the time we do need to pray that sweet Jesus would just take us home! My experience lasted hardcore for about 18 hours but then it took two more days to recuperate from the aches and pains that ensue from using muscles that weren’t really made to be used in that way!

    Prayers for a speedy recovery my friend so you can enjoy the wonderful holiday treats soon to come!
    Tami

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