Saying Goodbye

Posted: August 10, 2008 in Uncategorized

So, this is the day that my girl leaves. Maybe I’ve never mentioned that her love language is gift giving? Her love language is gift giving. She shops and plans and searches for the perfect gift for those she loves. A few months ago, she started planning for this very day and the gifts that she would give – departure gifts, I suppose they could be called.

Her gift to Steve & I was a clock (we LOVE clocks). It’s beautiful and reminds me of Tori in about a million different ways. It has a beautiful picture on the face reminiscent of Little Women – a book that she’s probably read a dozen times in grade school and beyond. It also has a little door that opens to reveal a secret compartment (how cool are secret compartments?). Inside the door was a small, scroll-like piece of paper, wrapped in satin ribbon, upon which she had written a poem. The thoughts of her heart, poured out on the page – and I love her for that, even though it’s a cheap trick when you know your mom is teetering on the emotional brink already. Here’s a part of it:


On a cool morning in May

it started

On cool mornings in May

it persisted

It pulled and pushed us

We ducked and covered

Now it’s gaining momentum

Strategic, and then some

What I used to welcome

even search for

I now shun and beg for more


Time knows best

it hurts and stings and frightens

All the while dragging us closer and closer

To where it knows we need to go

(P.S. See you at Thanksgiving!)

Sigh. Seasons are rough, you know? I’m trying to be gracious and faith-filled and thankful for the time that we’ve had with our girl…but I’m often just not. I’m often selfish and stingy and frustrated with God for giving us such a grand gift and then wanting her back. He is good, though, even when I am not.

So, today is the day. Tori walks away from a job she loves, a room of her own, siblings she’s very nearly raised, a boy who’s pretty great, and the best parents in the whole world (hee – just checking to make sure you’re paying attention). But the great news is that she’s moving headlong into the plan of God for her life – and there’s not a better place to be.

I love you, Tori. Thanks for giving – and for being – the perfect gift!


  1. cassie says:


    bye tori!!!! i’ll miss your smile, worship, devotion to the House of God and your laugh! Come visit often enough that we don’t get a chance to miss you too much! Embrace this new adventure and all the small pleasures it is sure to bring!!!

    PS- according to a few amazing moms, you can’t call home too much =)

  2. Ann Dunagan says:

    I hope Tori someday comes to visit us while she’s gone, even for an evening dinner if she’s ever feeling like she needs a family, but doesn’t have time to go all the way to Bend. PBC is only an hour from Hood River . . . and we’d love to have her!

  3. Tami says:

    Bo, thank you for sharing this whole adventure with Tori…my children (all four of them) are still young enough to be home but our oldest is going to be a Sophomore so my time is coming…and quickly I might add. Thank you for giving me a peek into what is a wonderful, exciting, sad, painful time in our lives as parents. Love the blog and love you for letting us get a piece of you!

  4. bolovesjoe says:

    Thanks, friends, for your encouragement. I’m home and feeling good about the future…she is enjoying the experience so far and successfully managed to squish her clothes into the smallest closet in the history of dorm rooms so I think – overall – a grand success.

  5. Haha, indeed it is a success. Also, while it was a wonderful post and touches me deeply, I feel I should inform your readers that I have never read Little Women, but I’m sure it’ll happen eventually.

  6. Bo says:

    Tori – SERIOUSLY? I must have my daughters mixed up! Sorry. And thanks for setting the record straight.

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