Letting Go

Posted: May 24, 2008 in Uncategorized

Acts 20:32 Now I’m turning you over to God, our marvelous God whose gracious Word can make you into what He wants you to be and give you everything you could possibly need in this community of holy friends.

A few months ago, our family had what can only be described as The Week. It was the kind of week that makes you dread answering the phone because you’re pretty sure it’s gonna be bad news. Throughout the course of The Week, most of the bad news had to to with my kids. One was in a battle for her calling and identity, two were being deeply hurt by friends, another was fighting health and fear issues. It felt to me like the storm just kept swirling and spinning while I just kept praying and answering my phone.

If you’ve watched any amount of Leave it To Beaver or The Cosby Show, you understand what good moms do. Good moms fix things. They make it better. They use words and food and other clever ideas to make problems go away and to keep their kids from making bad decisions. Sometimes I want to live in Nick at Nite because down here in the unscripted real world I often find myself without real remedies for the people I love the most.

So, in the midst of The Week, a cool thing happened. I was praying (the only thing I’ve found that really works well in parenting) and I saw this picture that was so clear it was like I was right there in the middle of it. I was standing in a field of those dandelion things – the ones that you blow and all the seeds scatter – and I was trying to protect and guard each seed as it released from the stem. At first, they detached one at a time and they were easy to chase. A fuzzy little seed would waft gently through the air, and I would race it to it’s landing spot and tuck it safely in the soil so it would not be uprooted or trampled. It was a difficult-but-doable job. But then the wind picked up and they started to blow faster and soon I was running frantically to keep up. Finally, I found myself in the middle of a fuzzy, white flurry of flying seeds and all I could do was stand there – exhausted and frustrated – but also somehow relieved that the job had finally become too big for me.

The seeds in my dream – as you have undoubtedly already figured out – are the issues my kids face: money, jobs, friends, affections, health. When they were little, I got to hold onto the flower and love it and keep it from getting caught in a wind it wasn’t prepared for. But now, it’s time to trust God, take a big step back, let some of those seeds fly free and enjoy the show. It’s time to move – mostly – from valiant protector to prayerful observer.

Conclusion? it’s a wretched, wonderful, terrible, beautiful thing to let go.

Not June Cleaver After All,


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